Understanding consequences

Ruby is 3 and ½ now, has a good understanding of the language (both french and English), knows what is right and wrong, knows when mum is cross and is quite intelligent I believe. Having removed the bars on her cost a few weeks ago now (for the 4^th time), we are still having the conversation with her about staying in bed at night and not coming into our bedroom, standing next to my side of the bed and waiting until I wake – she usually scares me half to death as I am a little freaked out to find someone standing right beside me watching me sleep.  I really do not want to spend another half an hour or so of my life putting her bars back on, plus I do not think this is the right thing to do. She needs to understand that it is not her choice to get out of bed, if words alone do not work then we need to find something that she can relate to.

“Kitty” and “Cow hot water bottle” seems to be the solution – I have clearly explained that if she does not stay in bed and continues to wake mummy she will loose the right to keep her kitty and hot water bottle. As promised I followed through on my threat plus the added loss of TV to hit home and it would appear that she now clearly understands that if she does not do as she is told then she does not get to keep the things she likes. She understands the naughty mat and still sometimes will do naughty things and put herself on the mat – is that her mind telling her it was “worth it for 3 minutes on the mat”? I remember when I was talking with my mum about her staying in or not staying in bed as was more of the case mum said that was never an issue for them as they just locked our door!

Comments

[rae of sunshine]

She knows full well when she should be getting up - I always tell her that I will come and wake her when it is time to get up - 7.30 pretty much everyday. It is just that she chooses to explore her independence. Thanks for the offer of the clock but she seems to be getting the message and I think that it might just be something else for her to play with instead of sleeping. You need to switch off to their calls - especially if they are still sleeping - easier said than done but it will come with time. Are you sleeping better with him back in a sleep bag?

[minutepapillon]

Does she get confused about what time it is and what time is right for getting up and what time is not? I bought an alarm clock on sale over a year ago thinking I might need it for them soon but so far haven't as my problem is more for them to fall asleep and then not call for me at night (but then that happens when he's fast asleep)anyway, that clock is like a night light and you program it so that when it's night the sleeping rabbit can be seen and when they can get up the rabbit is seen awake. I could search the house and let you borow it if you wish.